Friday, June 10, 2011

Harley D. Update #2 "The Final Chapter of the Cone"

I got up early this morning to take Harley D. to the vet.  Today marks the day he has been waiting for - the day that I promised him would come - the day he can finally be freed from the dreaded CONE.  {Insert scary music here}.

It dawned on me, late yesterday... too late to call and ask the vet anyhow... that my cat may have to be dropped off and be put under for this procedure.  I mean, come on, I couldn't imagine Harley just sitting there quietly and perfectly still while some stranger f***s around with his ear - after all, if he could talk, he'd tell me that the last time that happened, he got the {cue scary music} CONE.  So, in light of my kitty epiphany,  it was suggested I get there early - DRAT!!  I really wanted to sleep in - ON A FRIDAY - that is such a rarity in my week, but alas, Harley is more important than a few extra Zzzz's so I set the alarm (DRAT!). 

As I was leaving the house, I mentioned that I would pick up breakfast on my way home.  I was craving Whataburger (local 24hr burger joint).  I drove to the vet, walked in and a young man asked me if I was "dropping off".
I said, "Well, I'm not sure.  I'm here to get stitches taken out of my cat's ear and I'm not sure if anesthesia is needed so you tell me, am I dropping off?" 
The vet tech said that its an in and out procedure, no anesthesia is needed.  Then he asked me if Harley was "aggressive".
I chuckled and told him, "No, however he does have that stupid {cue scary music} CONE around his neck and he hates it so if you free him of it, he may not want to leave your side, EVER, but he's not "aggressive".

The vet tech then told me that it would only take a few minutes.  He took Harley in back, and, no kidding, three minutes later, here he comes with Harley again, done!  It took three times longer at the drive-thru of Whataburger getting breakfast - something's wrong with that. 

Before leaving for the vet, and picking up breakfast, the tech asked me if I had any questions.  I asked him if Harley had any ear swelling ("No.") and if he had to wear the {cue scary music} CONE any longer.  I could have sworn I heard Harley sigh in relief right after the vet tech said, "No."
I then asked the vet, where "it" was, referring to the {cue the... Aww forget it, you get the picture!}  The tech said that "it" is in the there, and he motioned to Harley's carrier - the same carrier that Harley is now lying.  My first thought made me laugh out loud and I just couldn't stop from there.  Just then, the vet gave me a peculiar look.  I envisioned Harley attacking the shit out of that {cue the scary music} CONE as payback!  The thought stayed with me all the way out to the car, still laughing aloud, imagining Harley's screeches as he tears "it" to shreds.  I was flashing on the scene in the movie "Jurasic Park" when the "Velociraptors" are being fed in the bushes (at the beginning of the movie)... loud shrieks of terrifyingly angry hunger, leaves and bushes shaking violently as the dinosaurs devour their prey, yet the creatures are no where in "true" sight.  Harley is not a raptor of course but, in my mind, the {cue scary music}CONE was his prey!  I was even egging him on, "Come on, Harley, now's your chance - strike, strike!"

Yeah, well, it was all in my head.  Harley just wanted to go home. 

Harley has the typical after-flaw of a surgery like this - the crinkled, droopy ear, but at least it is not causing him pain, that I am aware of anyway, I mean, he hasn't given any indication of discomfort other than when he was jailed up in that stupid {cue scary music} CONE that he hated so much.

I am sure he is pleased that he can finally groom himself, instead of having me do it for him.  FYI:  I used a fine-tooth comb, I didn't do it the traditional "kitty" way...I love him very much but... eww!!
I am also sure he is pleased to FINALLY get that "itch" near his ear that has been driving him nuts for ten days.  I think he is pleased to not be sequestered in his room, away from his other kitty buds (I think he may have even missed Frankie, in his own twisted "I hate you  - stay the f*** away from me" kind of way).  But most of all, I think Harley is pleased to finally, (FINALLY!!!) be rid of that stupid (yep, you guessed it)... {cue scary music} CONE!

PS:  What ever happened to {cue the scary music}CONE?? 

Well, I'd tell ya but Harley has dirt on me regarding this incident in Vegas back in the 90's, so all I can say is, "What happens in the carrier, stays in the carrier!"{Insert scary music here}.

This is DaCanon blasting off!


No comments:

Post a Comment